More telltale signs your’e a Redneck
- Directions to your house include, “turn off the paved road”.
- Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-In Theatre.
- You think safe sex is when the participants are married to each other.
- Somebody hollers Hoe Down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
- You buy lard wholesale.
- You eat a bowl of beans in order to take a bubble bath.
- You’ve ever hollered, You kids quit playing on the sheet metal.
- Your truck is insured by Smith Wesson.
- Any of your children are the result of a conjugal visit.
- You and your wife’s family reunion are one and the same.
- Your best linens have the Property of Motel 6 printed on them.
- Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.
- You have three first names.
- Your Uncle Bob died peeing on an electric fence.