Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family farm. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the farm, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving for the auctions, the brunette tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll fax you to drive out after me and transport it home.”
Archive for Animals
A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don’t like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each.
Once upon a time there were three little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig and the brick pig.
One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pig”s house and said, “I’m going to huff and puff and blow your house down.” And he did!
Three dogs, a Black Labrador, Golden Retriever and a Great Dane. Were sitting in the waiting room at the vet’s when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the Retriever and said, “So why are you here?” The Retriever replied, “I’m a pisser. I piss on everything.
Cat’s do what they want and Dog’s spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture
The head keeper said that a female gorilla is on heat and we need……..
Donald and Minnie booked into a motel while Mickey was away on business.
How many Dogs or Cats, to screw in a lightbulb.
Like Humans, Lions go through the same 3 Basic stages of a Relationship with a Female.
Expectera Trouserius snake is a Highly venomous animal.
Sleeping on the bed, My favourite thing. walking in the park, my favourite thing.
A Guide to help you ensure you are choosing the best healthy cow.
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey “Hey! What are you doing?”
Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller and wants to borrow…