• Directions to your house include, turn off the  paved road.
  • Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-In Theatre.
  • You think safe sex is when the participants are married to each other.
  • Somebody hollers Hoe Down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
  • You buy lard wholesale.
  • You eat a bowl of beans in order to take a bubble bath.
  • You’ve ever hollered, You kids quit playing on the sheet metal.
  • Your truck is insured by Smith & Wesson.
  • Any of your children are the result of a conjugal visit.
  • You and your wife’s family reunion are one and the same.
  • Your best linens have the Property of Motel 6 printed on them.
  • Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.
  • You have three first names.
  • Your Uncle Bob died peeing on an electric fence.