An elderly man driving erratically was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse.
“That will be £10 for the brass rat and £1,000 for the story behind it,” said the proprietor. “Thanks, but I’ll just pay the £10 and pass on the story.”
After a few weeks, the collector picks up over £100,000, but he gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realises that their collection is late.
A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios the farmer and says, “Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my truck, and he’s still wriggling.
A blonde female driver was speeding in a 30 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde’s driver’s licence.
Just after Christmas a cop on horse saw a little girl on bike with no lights, “Did Santa get you that?” he yells at the girl “Yes,” replies the little girl. “Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year or I will arrest you.”
An Al Qaeda terrorist had been shot dead by the London Metropolitan Police with over 600 bullet holes in the body.
