The most dangerous snake in the world

Name.
Expectera Trouserius (Trouser Snake)

Location.
Throughout the World

Description.
One eyed, with mushroom shaped head (some types have extra layers of skin, colouring varies from pale pink to yellow and black. length varies from 3″ (76mm) to 12″ (300mm.

Symptoms.
This snake attacks mainly women in the lower frontal abdomen, resulting in a inconspicuos lump appearing, then severe swelling followed by severe pain after nine months.
The attack is not usually fatal.

N.B.
This snake has been known to attack men in the lower rear area.

Habitat.
Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in most unusual places, on rare occasions found in the Toilets of commercial aircraft.

Antidote.

Various vaccines are available that work well for Women, however, once the Venom is injected into the body, drastic measures will be required to ensure complete recovery.
There is no antidote for Men.

What not to do when attacked.
Do not apply a tourniquet as the Venom is too deep in the body to be effective.

Cutting the wound.
This would be completely unecessary as the bleeding will stop after 2-3 weeks.

Sucking the wound.
This method is very popular with the victim, but evidence shows this has never led to any success.

Obtaining Anit-venom.
Place four fingers of right or left hand around the neck of the snake with the thumb in front.
Grip firmly and move hand in an upward and downward motion, The snake will become highly agressive, very rigid and start spitting venom. Once the snake is milked it will remain harmless for around 20minutes or so.

Conclusion.
This snake, although agressive and active is not necessarily a vermin, but treated with the right care and respect will make a wonderful pet.