Pub competition

A stranger in town walks into a Pub and notices a large jar stuffed to the brim with £20 bank notes. The man approaches the publican and asks, “What’s the deal with the jar?”

“Well, you pay £20, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money.” “What are the three tests?” asks the man, the publican replies “you have to pay first.” So the stranger gives him the £20, and the Publican adds it to the jar.

“OK, here’s what you have to do.

First, you have to drink that whole bottle of  Spiced Rum,  the whole bottle at once, and you can’t make a face while doing it. Second, there’s a Rottweiler chained up out back with a bad tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare  hands. Third, there is a 90-year-old woman upstairs who’s never had an orgasm in her life. You have to make things right for her.”

“Well, I know I’ve paid my £20,” says the man, “but I’m not an idiot! No wonder you’ve collected so much money, that’s impossible.”

The stranger proceeds to drink several whiskeys, and eventually, he gets drunk enough to do the tasks in hand.

“Whereth  that bottle ov rum?” Slurs the stranger.

He grabs the bottle of spiced rum with both hands and downs it, gulp by gulp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn’t make a face. Next, he staggers out back. Everyone in the Pub hears a huge scuffle outside, awful screaming, growling and yelping. Then it suddenly went silent.

Just when everyone in the pub thought the stranger must be dead, he staggers back into the pub with his shirt ripped and gashes across his body. He gave the Publican a hardened determined look and said “whereth  that old lady with the bad tooth?”