Why Upgrading your Woman is like your computer.
A friend of mine upgraded girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialisation where it can monitor all other system activity.
He’s finding that some applications such as Poker Night 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and Pub Night 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as Mother In-law 55.8 and Brother In-law Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.
Some features he’d like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.
- A “Don’t remind me again” button
- Minimise button
- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.
- An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.
I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.
To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn’t work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.
Another thing that sucks — all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0
Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port.
You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.
To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn’t work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing that sucks, all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0
BUG WARNING
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.
BUG WORK-AROUND
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a Usenet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the Usenet.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!
UPDATE
Under no circumstances try installing or running any new electrical hardware such as surround sound systems, wide screen tv’s etc. with this software, it is incompatible and will result in all files with a .balls extension, being wiped from the system permanently. The software will also continue to popup reminder windows of cache flow problems.