Care home speeder

An elderly lady named Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the care home where she resided, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed in the long corridors. Because Ethel was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents and staff tolerated her antics, and some of the male residents (also a sandwich or two short of a picnic) actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding down one of the corridors when a door opened and Crazy Chuck stepped out with his arm outstretched. “Stop!” he said in a firm voice, “Have you got a licence for that thing?” Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Chocolate wrapper and held it up to him. Crazy Chuck examined the document and gave it back, “OK, it’s all in order” he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Barmy Bill popped out in front of her. “Stop!” he said, “Where’s your proof of insurance?” Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to him. Barmy Bill nodded and said, “Carry on, ma’am it’s up to date.” Once more Ethel was speeding her way along the corridors.

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the sickbay, Barmy Bert stepped out in front of her, stark naked and, holding a very sizeable erection in his hand. “Oh, no!” said Ethel, “Not the breathalyser again!”