Some reasons why the Human race is doomed to fail.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer
Do not use while sleeping.
(crap, that’s the only time I have to do my hair.)

On a bag of potato crisps
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special.)

On a bar of household soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how . . .?)

On some frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it’s *just* a suggestion.)

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom of box): Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! Helllooooo?)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
Product will be hot after heating.
(As night follows the day.)

On packaging for a Rowena iron
Do not iron clothes on body.
(Extra starch in mine!)

On Boot’s Children’s Cough Medicine
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
(We could reduce the rate of warehouse & construction site accidents if we could just get those 5-year old kids with colds, off those forklift trucks.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas light
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor
Not to be used for the other use.
(I have to admit, I’m curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts
Warning: contains nuts.
(Talk about a news flash.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

On a child’s Superman costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(I don’t blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chain saw
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(Was there a spate of this happening somewhere?)