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Drinking 3 Pints at a time.

A Ground worker walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the corner of the room, drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, he went back to the bar and ordered three more.

Lecture.

An elderly man driving erratically was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse.