Mc Donalds Job Application.

A job application a 19 year old male submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment, they employed him because he was so honest.

NAME
Peter Jones

SEX
Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION
Company Chairman. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY
£100,000 a year plus stock options and a Banking style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION
Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD
Target for middle management hostility.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes

REASON FOR LEAVING
It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK
Any.

PREFERRED HOURS
12:30-1:30 p.m., Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50Lbs?
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?
I may already be a winner of the Reader’s Digest Prize Draw.

DO YOU SMOKE?
On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in the Bahamas with a wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?
Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.