COOL THINGS ABOUT BEING A MAN.

Yes, it’s good to be a man.

• Your backside is never a factor in a job interview.
• Your orgasms are real. Always.
• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• You don’t give a rat’s arse if someone notices your new haircut.
• Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
• Same work .. more pay.
• Wrinkles-add character.
• You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
• Wedding Dress £2000; Tux rental £100.
• If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
• People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
• New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• One mood, All the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
• A weekend break requires only 1 suitcase.
• You can open all your own jars.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• Your underwear is £8 for a three-pack.
• If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
• You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking “He must be mad at me.”
• No maxi-pads.
• If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
• You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.
• You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
• Your belly usually hides your big hips.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
• You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
• Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
• The world is your urinal.