Best Pub Toast

Pete was well and truly oiled in the pub, he hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of my Life, between the legs of my wife.”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.” She replied “That is nice, what was your toast?” He said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.” “Oh, that is very sweet of you.” His wife said.

The next day, Peter’s wife ran into one of Peter’s drinking pals on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “Hi there, you know Pete won the prize last night at the pub with a toast about you.”

She said, “Yes he told me, and I was somewhat surprised myself.” “You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep on me”