Alimentary Connections

A guy walks into a Pub and sits down. He starts dialling numbers… like a telephone… on his hand and talking into his hand. The Barman walks over and tells him this is a very rough neighbourhood and he doesn’t need any trouble here.

The guy says, “You don’t understand. I’m very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular.” The Barman says “Prove it.”

The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the barman. The Barman talks into the hand and carries on a conversation. “That’s incredible”, says the bartender… “I would never have believed it!” “Yeah”, said the guy, “I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men’s toilets?” The Barman directs him to the men’s loo’s. The guy goes in and 20 minutes go by and he doesn’t return.

Fearing the worst given the rough clientele, the Barman goes into the men’s room. There is the guy spread-eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper hanging out of his backside.

“Oh god!” said the barman. “Did they rob you? Are you hurt?” The guy turns and says: “No, I’m ok. I’m just waiting for a fax.”