Barmy Officialdom

You know one time the world looked at the English and set their standards based on what they saw, they admired the freedom enjoyed by the English, what they didn’t realise is, its all fake, once there was a Magna Carta (bit of worthless paper).

For Example, did you know that you can be OFFICIALLY WARNED of the pain and suffering you will receive by not committing an offence, but you may be committing an offence as there is no record of you not committing an offence. Confused?

Some time ago, some bloody fool said that  you are innocent until proven guilty (probably a drunk, or hippie on Acid), as you can be warned about the offence you haven’t commited or intend to.

Here’s why:-
The Address has been removed to protect the unproven Inncocence (or guilt for that matter).

Click to Enlarge

Click to Enlarge

But in fairness, the English, and by all accounts Scottish have a sense of humour read the reverse side of the “OFFICIAL WARNING”. Great news for the Blind.

So the Armed Police can perform an armed raid on you and very likely to shoot you for because the DVLA (Driver and Vehicle Licencing Authority have no record of you paying for your vehicle road tax for the car you don’t own.

To Assist, we have compiled some mostly asked questions.

Q. Does this mean that although I don’t have a car, I have to pay road tax on it.?
A. Depends where you live.

Q. I’m Blind can I get a 50% discount on my drivers licence?
A. NO! Fu%*ing way, that only applies to blind people watching TV, Idiot!.

Q. I am invalid  and riddled with arthritis do I need a licence for the machine gun mounted on the Military Tank I don’t have.
A. Now you’re being stupid! you need to have passed a driving test first (must be a liberal).

Q. I am 92 and live on life support, do I need a licence for my potty chamber?
A. No! we need the Sh%&t for the cabinet, besides you were retired at 65, and you have no right to have lived the extra 26 years.

Q. I am having a baby, do I need to get a licence for officially having Sexual Intercourse?
A. No, but had you paid the TV licence and possessed a TV you wouldn’t be in that condition. But you have given us a good idea.

Q. I am Captain Fantastic and fought in the last 3 world wars, I will be 100 next week do I need a licence to go to the Palace to get my Birthday card from the Queen?
A. No, but do you realise how much money it will cost to get you there, breast feed you, change your incontinent pants, armed Police guard, paramedic road sweeper in case you croak on route. Why don’t you stay at home we will send a scanty strippergram to aid you in your cardiac arrest, its far more cost effective ya fucking old git!.

So you now understand don’t you, it amounts to the fact that you are guilty because you cannot prove you are innocent of the offence that  there is no record of you not committing.

Americans say God Bless America.
English say Blessed country.