Smoking, reading and taking in the breeze.

A resident at a retirement home kept disappearing after the evening meal and would eventually be seen after about 20 minutes or so. One of the Women residents noticed this and thought she would find out where he goes after the evening meal.

She stealthily followed him to the far end of the grounds in a very secluded area, where he sat down up against a tree took out some tobacco and rolled a very large cigarette. He then opened his fly and got his todger out, opened up a porn magazine and proceeded to smoke his cigarette and go through the porn magazine.

When he finished his cigarette he then stubbed it out, close up the magazine and put his todger back in his trousers and closed up his fly zip.

The woman watched in amazement that this is all he did, there was no sexual act what so ever. She continued to watch him over the next couple of days, and it was the same thing each day, he would get it out have a read smoke his cigarette and return.

She decided to ask him about and said “I saw you yesterday at the far end of the gardens reading a magazine and  smoking with your thing hanging out.” “Why do you do that?” she asked, he replied “Well my dear my sex life is at an end, so all I can hope for is the stimulation of a porn magazine, the sensation of the fresh air around my todger and the satisfaction of a cigarette.” She pondered for a moment and asked “Would it be better if I held it while you read and have your satisfying smoke?” He replied “I expect it may be, yes.”

It was from that point they then would rendezvous at the same place every evening after the evening meal, where he would sit up against a tree smoking his cigarette and reading his magazine while she held his todger. This went on for weeks until one day she went to the meeting place but he wasn’t there. She searched high low for him but he was not to be found, eventually she found him at the back of the bicycle sheds with another woman holding his todger while he read and smoked. She was outraged and yelled “Why you two timing dirty old git!” “What has she got that I haven’t?” she asked. He looked up at her and replied “Parkinson’s.”