Bill at the Pearly Gates

Bill Gates has been crushed by a crate of returned Windows Vista Cd’s. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.

“Well Bill, I’m really confused in your case; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society, by enabling I.B.M. to put a computer in almost every home, yet you also created that ghastly Windows.

In your case, I’m going to do something I’ve never done before; I’m going to let you decide where you want to go for eternity.”Bill replied, “Well, what is the difference between the two?”

St. Peter said, “I’m willing to let you visit each briefly to help your decision”
“OK which one first?”

“I’ll leave that decision to you as well.” “Fine then,” said Bill, ” Let’s see Hell first.”

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautifully clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of pretty, bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water and generally having a great time. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. Bill was pleased. “This is great!” He told St. Peter. ” If this is Hell, Heaven should be really impressive.” “Fine.” said St. Peter, and off they went.

Heaven was a place way up in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps, and singing. It was nice, but not as inspiring as Hell. Bill thought for a very short moment and rendered his decision. “I think I prefer Hell”
“OK” retorted St. Peter, “that’s your choice then.”

Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire, and find how he fared, in Hell.

When he arrived, he found Bill screaming, shackled to a rock, in a dark cave, surrounded by flames, whilst being burned and tortured by demons.

“How are you finding things here then?” he asked Bill. Bill responded, his voice filled with anguish, disappointment and recrimination. “This is nothing like the Hell I visited with you two weeks ago. It’s awful! I can’t believe this is happening. What happened to the other place with the beautiful beaches and the scantily clad women?”
“Oh that was just a demo,” Replied St. Peter.