• Your e-mail address ends in @over.yonder.com.
  • You connect to the World Wide Web via a Down Home Page.
  • If the bumper sticker on your truck says, My other computer is a laptop.
  • Your laptop has a sticker that says, Protected by Smith and Wesson.
  • You’ve ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.
  • Your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.
  • You wire your network with jumper cables
  • Your wife said either she or the computer had to go, and you still don’t miss her.
  • You’ve ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your drink on.
  • You ever refer to your computer as Ole Bessy.
  • You start all your e-mails with the words, Howdy y’all.
  • Your spell checker knows words like, Y’all, Yonder, and Reckon.
  • Your cars sit in the yard because your garage is full of dead CPUs, printers, modems and monitors.
  • Your belt buckle is made from a dead 3.5 hard drive.
  • You ever felt you had to move your computer desk so it didn’t block the velvet picture of Elvis.
  • Your mouse keeps knocking over your spittoon.
  • Smith & Wesson…the original point N click interface.
  • When you’re friends comment on your nice boots and you say, “ea thanks. Its my spiffy, new Phoenix BIOS.
  • When your wife catches you again with your farm Animals of the Orient CD-ROM.
  • When you order your new pick-up truck with a gun rack and PCMCIA sockets.