Retiring Generals

The Army recently found it had too many generals and offered early retirement bonuses.

They promised any General who retired immediately would not only get the full pension but also ten grand for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring general’s body between any two points he chose.

The first general accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He measured 6 feet. He walked out with a cheque for 720 grand.

The second general asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. This measured 8 feet. He walked away with a cheque for  960 grand.
 
Meantime, the first general had tipped off the third as to the additional bonus cheque, so when the third general was asked where to measure, he told the pension man, “from the tip of my penis, to the bottom of my testicles.” The pension man said that would be fine, but he’d better get the Medical Officer to do the measuring.

The Medical Officer attended and asked the general to strip, which he did.

The Medical Officer placed the tape on the tip of the general’s penis and began to work back, then all of a sudden the Medic exclaimed “My God”, “where are your testicles”?

The general looked up at the medic and replied “Afghanistan”.