An Englishman, Welshman, Scotsman and an Irishman were all sitting down discussing what is the fastest thing in life.

After much deliberation the Englishman said, “I believe it is the process of thought, It comes to one in a flash.”

“Good try” agreed the Scot, “but I think Blinking is even quicker.”

“Pretty good but not quick enough,” quipped the Welshman. “I am sure electricity is faster, just think if you hit any light switch you get instant light”

After a few moments the Irishman cut in,” I believe you all have valid points but I think Diarrhoea wins!”  “What the hell are you talking about?” chimed the three other guys.

“Well it is like this. Last night I went down to the local curry house for a Vindaloo, which I washed down with 12 pints of Guinness, I then retired to bed. However at 3 o’clock in the morning, before I could think, blink or turn the light on, I shit myself!