Yes, it’s good to be a man.

  • Your backside is never a factor in a job interview.
  • Your orgasms are real. Always.
  • Your last name stays put.
  • The garage is all yours.
  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  • You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
  • Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  • You don’t give a rat’s arse if someone notices your new haircut.
  • Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
  • Same work .. more pay.
  • Wrinkles-add character.
  • You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
  • Wedding Dress £2000; Tux rental £100.
  • If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
  • People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
  • New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  • One mood, All the time.
  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
  • A weekend break requires only 1 suitcase.
  • You can open all your own jars.
  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • Your underwear is £8 for a three-pack.
  • If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
  • You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  • You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking “He must be mad at me.”
  • No maxi-pads.
  • If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
  • You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.
  • You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  • You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  • Your belly usually hides your big hips.
  • One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
  • You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
  • Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
  • The world is your urinal.