Rednecks Archive

Letter from a farmer turned Marine.

Posted February 24, 2012 By Exocet

Tell brother Walt & Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man DeHaan by a mile

     

10. I’m gonna pump you full o’ lead.

     

Poetry Contest.

Posted November 13, 2011 By Exocet

The clock starts, the men are thinking, after about 30 seconds the Law student jumps up and says………

     

Son inlaw.

Posted March 11, 2004 By Exocet

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughters bedroom.

     

Wines of Wal-Mart

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

Wal-Mart announced that they will soon be offering a new discount item, Wal-Mart’s own wine. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but “there IS a market for cheap wine”

     

Chilli cookout contest

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

You could remove dried paint from your driveway, They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

     

Etiquette.

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

Never take a beer to a job interview, Always offer to bait your date’s hook, especially on the first date.

     

More telltale signs your’e a Redneck

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

More reasons why you might be A Redneck if, You think safe sex is when the participants are married to each other.

     

Tell tale signs your’e a redneck

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

Tell tale signs your’e a redneck, Directions to your house include, “turn off the paved road, Your Uncle Bob died peeing on an electric fence.

     

Signs youre a high tech redneck

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

If the bumper sticker on your truck says, “My other computer is a laptop.

     

Predictions.

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

However, after several successful predictions, the woman didn’t show up for two weeks.

     

On the scent.

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume.

     

Jesus saves.

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

Told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey, too.

     

Hickphonics.

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

As a language, is taught in all southern schools. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonic English dictionary:

     

Free sex with your fuel

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

The next week they tried again. When they went to pay, the attendant told them to pick a number. Two! said the second man. Sorry, it’s three, said the attendant, come back and try again.

     

A Northern fairytale begins, once upon a time.

     

The Beverly hillbobbits

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

Well, the next thing you know there’s a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena’s in the car takin’ Willie for a ride.

     

20 year of marriage secret.

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

she screamed at him, how could you be lying to me after all these years. You had better explain yourself!.

     

2 Million Dollar Sluts.

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

A young boy went up to his father and asked, What is the difference between potentially and realistically? The father pondered for a while, then answered.

     

Vasectomy, Southern style.

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb….

     

New Shutdown wav: Y’all come back now, Yah hear?

     

A Starfleet Captain might be a Redneck if…

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month.

     

Your Jedi Knight might be a Redneck if….

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

His light sabre is made by Smith & Wesson. He calls Hank Williams.”The Master”.

     

Foibles.

Posted February 10, 2004 By Exocet

You know when you’re staying in a Redneck hotel?
When you call the front desk and say I’ve gotta leak in my sink and the person at the front desk says go ahead.

     
Bear