Politics Archive

What is Politics

Posted September 23, 2014 By Exocet

A small boy asks his Dad, “Daddy, what is politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your mother, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the People. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.” So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. The little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep, not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny, so he gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit.”

British secret service test.

Posted September 15, 2014 By Exocet

The MI6 has three candidates, two men and a woman, for a single assassin position. On the final day of testing, the MI6 proctor leads the first male candidate to a large steel door and hands him a gun. “We must know that you will follow our instructions, regardless of the circumstances,” he explains. “Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her.” The man is horrified, “You can’t be serious! I could never shoot my wife!” “Well,” says the proctor, “you’re definitely not the right person for this job.”

The MI6 proctor leads the second male candidate to another large steel door and hands him a gun. “We must know that you will follow instructions, no matter what the circumstances,” the proctor explains. “Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her.” The second man steadies himself, takes the gun and enters the room. After three quiet minutes, the man exits the room with tears in his eyes. “I wanted to do it I just couldn’t pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I suppose I’m not the right man for the job.”

Finally, the MI6 proctor leads the female candidate to yet another large steel door and hands her a gun. “We must be sure that you will follow instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him.” The woman takes the gun, enters the room, and before the door even closes completely behind her, she’s fired off six shots. There was a short silence, then all hell breaks loose behind the door cursing, screaming and crashing. Suddenly there was silence, the door opens slowly and the woman exits. After wiping the blood from her brow, she looks to the proctor and says, “Did you know the gun was loaded with blanks? I had to batter the son of a bitch to death with the chair!”

Bear