Health Archive

Senior Citizen and the Receptionist.

Posted July 31, 2018 By Exocet

There is nothing worse than a Doctor’s Receptionist who insists you tell her/him what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. Well 70-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?” “There’s something wrong with my dick”, he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.”

     

Gynecologist get more than he bargained for.

Posted May 25, 2015 By Exocet

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynaecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.

     

Advantages of Mother’s Milk.

Posted May 18, 2015 By Exocet

A group of medical students was asked four reasons why mother’s milk was better for babies than cow’s milk. This is an answer submitted by one student.

     

Bowel Movements.

Posted April 20, 2015 By Exocet

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions.

One 75 year old man says, “I have this problem. I wake up every morning at 7am and it takes me twenty minutes to pee.”

     

Super health computer.

Posted November 1, 2014 By Exocet

One day Bill complained to his friend Chuck that his elbow really hurt. His friend Chuck suggested that a computer at the health centre that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. “Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.”

Bill being a tight bastard, figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with……..

     

Doctor, Africa and the Donkey.

Posted October 28, 2014 By Exocet

A U.N. doctor visits an African tribe in a very remote and cut off part of Africa the tribe was known for it’s cannibal tendencies but have ceased this in recent times. After two weeks of trekking through hard going terrain he finally reaches the village containing only men.

     

Fast learning Doctor.

Posted September 20, 2014 By Exocet

A young doctor had moved out to a small country community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.” […]

     

Blowing hot & cold.

Posted September 18, 2014 By Exocet

“You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concern that you would like to ask me?” “In fact, I do,” said the old man. “After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I’m usually cold and chilly.”

     

I got Shingles.

Posted September 17, 2014 By Exocet

A Man walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” So she took down his name, address, medical details and told him to have a seat

     

Grannies, 100th birthday bash.

Posted September 16, 2014 By Exocet

An elderly lady who reached 100 years old, was wheeled by the family out onto the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn’t speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate with others

     

Burger with that extra.

Posted September 14, 2014 By Exocet

The huge, sweaty guy behind the counter bellowed, “One burger!” Then he grabbed a hunk of chopped meat & onion stuffed it into….

     

Care home speeder

Posted September 13, 2014 By Exocet

An elderly lady named Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the care home where she resided, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed in the long corridors.

     

Surgical Procedure

Posted August 22, 2013 By Exocet

The man asked his happy friend “was it breast implants?”
“Nope.” Replied the happy man.

     

Cutting moments

Posted October 20, 2012 By Exocet

The second boy says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

     

Keeping hands warm.

Posted September 28, 2012 By Exocet

An innocent virginal girl was in the car with her mother and stuck in traffic says “Oh my hands are freezing,” Her mum replies “Put them between your legs, it’ll warm them up.”

     

One test two results

Posted September 28, 2012 By Exocet

A man phones the Doctor’s surgery for the results of his wifes blood test she had the day before. The Doctor was very embarrassed…

     

The Four Hour Problem

Posted May 14, 2012 By Exocet

A man walked into a Pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The lady behind the counter said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the Pharmacy.

     

Blind Mans Stick

Posted May 5, 2012 By Exocet

“Why don’t you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.”

     

Spank him!

Posted February 21, 2012 By Exocet

An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby it was so far out, there was no electricity.

     

The Hunting Accident.

Posted February 15, 2012 By Exocet

A guy was hunting when a gust of wind blew the gun fell over & discharged.

     

Pitfalls of too much Alcohol

Posted November 15, 2011 By Exocet

Patrick had been drinking heavily at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night.
Mick, the barman, says, “You’ll not be drinking any more tonight, Patrick”.

     

Leprosy sufferer at a cricket match.

Posted November 13, 2011 By Exocet

A guy with leprosy wins tickets to see the final test cricket match. But when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat.

     

Aids Warning

Posted November 12, 2011 By Exocet

Senior citizens are the worlds leading carrier of AIDS and HIV. We can reveal exclusivley the facts.

     

Sperm Donation

Posted November 3, 2011 By Exocet

They decided to earn some money by supplying sperm to a donor bank.

     

Making babies.

Posted November 19, 2010 By Exocet

“Oh, no need to explain,” the woman cut in, embarrassed, “I’ve been expecting you.”

     
Bear