World events Archive

Alone at the Super bowl

Posted November 22, 2011 By Exocet

A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.  “No,” he says, “The seat is empty.”

“This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?”  He says, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1987.”

“Oh…I’m sorry to hear that. That’s terrible. But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?”.  The man shakes his head. “No they’re all at the funeral.”.

World Cup 2006.

Posted December 29, 2006 By Exocet

When the French player Zidane head butt the Italian player Materazzi in the 2006 world cup, this is what various contries saw around the world.

Spectators.

France.

Italy.

USA.

Japan.

DEATHS PLAGUE SOUTH AFRICAN HOSPITAL.

Posted April 17, 2006 By Exocet

For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a dead patient in the same bed every Friday morning.

A spokeswoman for the Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters. “There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive checks on the air conditioning system, and a search for possible bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues.”

However, further inquiries have now revealed the cause of these deaths. It seems that every Friday morning a cleaner would enter the ward, remove the plug that powered the patient’s life support system, plug her floor polisher into the vacant socket, then go about her business. When she had finished her chores, she would plug the life support machine back in and leave, unaware that the patient was now dead. She could not, after all, hear the screams and eventual death rattle over the whirring of her polisher.

“We are sorry, and have sent a strong letter to the cleaner in question. Further, the Free State Health and Welfare Department is arranging for an electrician to fit an extra socket, so there should be no repetition of this incident. The enquiry is now closed.”

Stupid!

Posted April 17, 2006 By Exocet

Exclusive telephone conversation leaked from the Whitehouse.

G.W.Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid all the time. So he calls Queen Elizabeth and tells her and asks how does he overcome this?

The Queen says, “Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you what I mean.” She calls Tony Blair and places him on a conference call with Gwer, she then asks, “Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn’t your sister and it isn’t your brother. Who is it?” Tony Blair replies, “It’s me!” The Queen explained by surrounding yourself with clever people he will not appear stupid as they can think for him.

So G.W. calls Dick Cheney and says, “Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn’t your sister and it isn’t your brother. Who is it?” Dick  says, “Wow, that’s a tough one. Let me get back to you.”

So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, “Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn’t your sister and it isn’t your brother. Who is it?” Colin says, “It’s me!”

Dick calls Bush and says, “It’s Colin Powell.” Bush goes nuclear on him and screams, “No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”

Clintons puppy.

Posted March 17, 2006 By Exocet

We can reveal the Clintons have a new Puppy (seen below).

 

 

 

 

After much deliberation they named it Monica.

Protected: Latest Kidnap Victim

Posted March 8, 2004 By Exocet

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