Food & Drink Archive

Drinking 3 Pints at a time.

Posted July 20, 2016 By Exocet

A Ground worker walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the corner of the room, drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, he went back to the bar and ordered three more.

     

Dad brings home a roadkill for dinner.

Posted September 28, 2015 By Exocet

A man driving home late on night kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is.

     

Monkey eats everything in a Pub bar.

Posted September 21, 2015 By Exocet

A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.

     

Pub competition

Posted September 14, 2015 By Exocet

A stranger in town walks into a Pub and notices a large jar filled to the brim with £20 bank notes.

The man approaches the publican and asks, “What’s the deal with the jar?” “Well, you pay £20, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money.”

     

Man downs six double Vodka’s in Pub.

Posted September 7, 2015 By Exocet

A guy walks into a pub and says to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” The barman says, “Wow, you must have had one hell of a day.”

     

Advantages of Mother’s Milk.

Posted May 18, 2015 By Exocet

A group of medical students was asked four reasons why mother’s milk was better for babies than cow’s milk. This is an answer submitted by one student.

     

Bic Lighter

Posted March 1, 2015 By Exocet

A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another guy and immediately notices the guy has a very large Bic cigarette lighter.

The first guy says “Wow, cool lighter… where did you get it?”

     

The librarian and the Blonde

Posted December 1, 2014 By Exocet

A Blonde woman walked into the town library and join the Que for service, after a short while the librarian said “How may I help you?” the customer replied with……….

     

Beer festival Bosses.

Posted November 21, 2014 By Exocet

After a Beer Festival in London, all the brewery executives decided to go out for a beer. Corona’s CEO sits down and says, “I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.”

     

Drunkard in Biker bar.

Posted November 14, 2014 By Exocet

Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, “I went by your grandma’s house and I saw her in the hallway, stark naked she was. Man, she is fine!”

The biker looked at him and didn’t say a word……..

     

Burger with that extra.

Posted September 14, 2014 By Exocet

The huge, sweaty guy behind the counter bellowed, “One burger!” Then he grabbed a hunk of chopped meat & onion stuffed it into….

     

Raisin Bread.

Posted September 12, 2014 By Exocet

A general store owner hired a young female assistant who liked to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day, a young man entered the store, glanced at the assistant, and glanced at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or general lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread, he had a brilliant idea.

     

Full Monty – Breakfast

Posted August 25, 2014 By Exocet

A couple had been married for 62 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning, and the two of them took all their clothes off and sat back down at the table.

     

Female bikers bar.

Posted August 15, 2014 By Exocet

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the person who served him, “Hey, you want to hear a blonde girl joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair given that you are blind, you should know five things.

     

Unbelievable Act in Public.

Posted February 18, 2013 By Exocet

I couldn’t believe what I saw outside my window!   I had to zoom in, no one in their right mind would do such a thing. yes I think I know what they are doing, it’s unbelievable they are doing this, but let’s be sure.   Yes I know it, I’m almost convinced at what […]

     

Sense of Freshness at the Supermarket.

Posted February 21, 2012 By Exocet

Due to the economic climate companies have had to get that “extra” to improve the sales and exposure to the buying public. One such food chain decided to introduce the ambience that is associated with foodstuffs.

     

A great Pub!

Posted November 13, 2011 By Exocet

The Irishman says, “this is a nice Pub, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there’s a better one.”

     

Wines of Wal-Mart

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

Wal-Mart announced that they will soon be offering a new discount item, Wal-Mart’s own wine. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but “there IS a market for cheap wine”

     

Chilli cookout contest

Posted March 10, 2004 By Exocet

You could remove dried paint from your driveway, They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

     

If restaurants functioned like Micro$oft

Posted March 8, 2004 By Exocet

If restaurants functioned like Microsoft.

     

Problems found by the serious drinker, You wake up and find your bed hard cold and wet. You cannot see your bedroom walls or ceiling.

     
Bear