Bikers Archive

Crashed Harley, the nurse, and the Wife!

Posted February 1, 2019 By Exocet

While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.

Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, “Are you okay?”

As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for (I thought I was in heaven).

“I’m okay I think,” I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”

“That’s nice of you,” I answered, “but I don’t think my wife will like me doing that!”

“Oh, come now, I’m a nurse,” she insisted. “I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly.”

Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, “I’m sure my wife won’t like this.”

We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, “I feel a lot better but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I’d better go now.”

“Don’t be silly!” she said with a smile. “Stay for a while. She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”

“Still in the ditch with the Harley, I guess”

Hells Angel becomes a Jehovas Witness

Posted March 14, 2016 By Exocet

A Hardened Hells Angel was getting very pissed off at people knocking his door at 8am Sunday mornings so he decide to go to the Jehovas Church and sort them out.

He got on his bike and went to the church, where he was greeted and fed and given coffee after some time he became a follower.

He now spends his Sunday Mornings knocking on peoples door and tells them to fuck off!

Drunkard in Biker bar.

Posted November 14, 2014 By Exocet

Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, “I went by your grandma’s house and I saw her in the hallway, stark naked she was. Man, she is fine!”

The biker looked at him and didn’t say a word. His pals were confused, because he was a bad arse, and would fight anyone at the drop of a hat. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, “I got it on with your grandma and she is a good lay, the best I ever had!”

The biker still said nothing, but his pals were starting to get mad. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, “I’ll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it way too much!”

The biker stood up, took the drunk by the shoulder and said, “Damn it, Granddad, you’re drunk! Go home!”

3 guys in a bar discussing love gifts.

Posted November 9, 2014 By Exocet

Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Banker, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, “You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure that if she doesn’t like the ring, she will at least she will enjoy the drive to change the ring, and she will know that I love her.”

 After finishing his scotch, the banker replied, “Well, on my last anniversary, I got my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn’t like the pearls, she would at least enjoy the trip, and she would know that I love her.”

 The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, “For my anniversary, I got my old lady a T-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn’t like the T-shirt, she can go fuck herself.”

Female bikers bar.

Posted August 15, 2014 By Exocet

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the person who served him, “Hey, you want to hear a blonde girl joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair given that you are blind, you should know five things.

  • The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
  • The bouncer is a blonde girl.
  • I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
  • The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional body guard.
  • The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wish to tell that joke?”
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… Not if I’m going to have to explain it five times.”

Bear